Love Potion #9
as Illustrated by Jolie
as Illustrated by Jolie
Hello to everyone out in blog world! This is your witchy host, Jolie Wilkins, here to offer up my recipe for Love! Now in case any of you aren't familiar with my story, I've had my fair share of that emotional roller coaster ride known as love. Yep, I got stuck right in the middle of a vampire and a warlock and, trust me, a rock and a hard place don't even know the half of it! Anyhoo...if you've got your eye on a hottie and want to make him yours...this spell is for you!
Okay, witches, bust out your cauldrons, get that broom out of the closet, light your Glade candles and borrow a black cat cause here we go!
Love Potion #9A (this is the new and improved version--trust me, I've been tampering with it!)
Step one: Clear the energy from your room! Ring a bell twice. (If you don't have a bell, just change your cell phone ring to something bell like and tell someone to call you. Then hang up on them after two rings...you can apologize later).
Step two: Clean that cauldron with some lemon water to make sure there isn't any left over "essence" from the last spell you performed (and, no, the dishwasher won't clean spell debris!)
Step three: Surround your cauldron with four candles, each candle to represent a direction (East, West, North and South). Please note: Vanilla candles don't do well in the Southern sphere. Why I have no idea. And a strawberry scented candle in the West will make your cauldron concoction taste like strawberries... Yum, right?
If you aren't sure which direction is which, just think of the mnemonic Never (North) Eat (East) Shredded (South) Wheat (West).
Step four: Imagine a bright white light flowing through you to cleanse your aura of any impurities which might tinge your spell. (Side note: be sure to wash your hands before undertaking a spell! Remember, cleanliness is next to witchiness!)
Step five: Once the smoke from all four candles mingles over your cauldron, the time is ripe for spell making!
Step six: Ingredients for the spell: Blend the following in your cauldron:
A. The left testicle of a Himalayan mountain goat with the retinas of a dingo...Hahah
OK, in all seriousness, blend the following:
Two tablespoons Listerine (very important to have good breath!) with three tablespoons organic sugar (so your intended will think you very sweet!). Mix both ingredients for a count of two. Then waft the smoke from the candles into the cauldron for a count of four. Clear the smoke and add three drops of salt water (this represents tears so your intended will think you sensitive). Then add the petals of a red rose (for passionate love) the petals of the sunflower (so your intended will adore you) and the petals of a yellow tulip (so he'll fall helplessly in love).
Once you've done all this, you'll need to personalize the spell! To do this, you'll need to add something of your own--a tuft of your hair, a fingernail cutting, etc. Once you've added your own essence to the spell, open your eyes and waft more of the smoke into your cauldron. Once the smoke clears, add something that belongs to your intended (could be a tuft of his hair, a baseball cap, etc.) Mix for a count of four.
Step Seven: Almost done! Now simply repeat the following: "With a swallow of this potion, love's magic is in motion. This spell guides us to unite, its power none can smite."
Then blow out your candles, mix at least two drops in your man's favorite drink and give it an hour or two and he'll be yours!
Next week's lesson: How to break the Love Potion #9A spell!
Coming up September 25th
Something Witchy This Way Comes
(Jolie Wilkins #5)
by H.P. Mallory
A witch’s work is never done, and in bestselling author H. P. Mallory’s mesmerizing new novel, Jolie Wilkins finds that the real magic is only just beginning.
For smart and sexy witch Jolie Wilkins, being Queen of the Underworld is a royal pain. Back from a round of time travel, Jolie must now protect her realm from the sinister Lurkers—a powerful breed of half-humans bent on conquering the undead. And if there’s one thing she knows, it’s that the supernatural never go down without a fight.
At least Jolie has her soul mate (and finally official boyfriend), warlock Rand Balfour, by her side. Honorable, brave, and unbelievably handsome, Rand is everything Jolie wants in a man. So why can’t she forget the dangerously alluring vampire, Sinjin Sinclair? With her private life heating up and a battle boiling over, Jolie sets out to prove that in matters of love and war, the fairer hex has its own set of charms.
I started my writing career as a self-published author and was lucky enough to hit both the Amazon and the Barnes and Noble bestseller’s lists with my two series, the Jolie Wilkins series and the Dulcie O’Neil series. Most recently I hit the New York Times and USA Today bestseller lists with my Jolie Wilkins books!
I signed with Random House (Bantam imprint) to write three books in the Jolie Wilkins series (Witchful Thinking, The Witch is Back and Something Witchy This Way Comes). Now I love the fact that I’m both a traditionally published author as well as a self-published one (with my Dulcie O’Neil series).
I’m a huge fan of anything paranormal and I always have been. I get super excited whenever they have those Twilight Zone Marathon days and anything ghost or vampire related will always attract my attention.
My interests are varied but aside from writing, I’m most excited about traveling. I’m extremely fortunate to have been able to live in England and Scotland, both places really having a profound effect on my books.
Thanks for checking out my books and I hope you enjoy them! Happy Haunting! H.P.