Monday, March 25, 2013

ROAST: It's My Turn!

You've heard from some of my blogging friends this past week. Now let's see if they stay my friends after I have my say. {Evil cackle}

red hot booksYou know why I had to jump in and say Stomp vs Romp? So I could get a word in edge wise. Jen at Red Hot Books will corner an author and talk and talk and talk. Girl's got to do what she can to get noticed while around her.

Oh and fair warning to all those going to RT....she gets louder and more talkative the more she drinks.

But I will forgive her for all that since she is the one the that opened my eyes to the wonderful world that is gay porn. Thank you! But if I hear the words "if you say so..." one more time, I'm going to put a pillow over your face while you sleep at RT.

The Book Vixen
Brianna at The Book Vixen how could you ask a question about Man Titties? Really what's wrong with you?! Man Titties trump EVERYTHING. The only way a cover can be any better is if they put the beans and frank on the cover too.

Y'all if I got missing after RT you know that Amber I at Awesomesauce Bookclub has pull a Buffalo Bill and is wearing my skin as a dress.

Blumpkin - Term meaning to receive oral sex while defecating

Hot Karl - The act in which a woman sucks the cock of the same man who moments earlier was balls deep in her can.

Hot ListensLupdilup you are the main reason I got into audio books. You opened up my ears to smut on audio; a perv can't get enough smut so thanks for showing me that I can get my freak on at work.

Raises a jello shot to ya chica! Keep on listen!

My Alter Ego CharlieOh poor Jen at The Bawdy Book Blog has deluded herself into thinking she is a bigger Fever fan than me. What the Feck?! She's spent too much time sniffing glue on the spines of books. Tisk tisk.

“I'm sorry your pretty little world got all screwed up, but everybody's does, and you go on. It's how you go on that defines you.”

Little Read Riding Hood
While Laura is in the corner crying and whining I'm thinking of ways to make her my bitch at AADSAV. She thinks I'm scary online.....she has no idea what is in store for her when we meet in person.

The only way she can make things better for herself is to have ALL of the NH series and spin-off books read before August.

Jenses have the balls to ask the real questions first. Don't wait for me to call your ass out on it.  Seriously, who gives a feck about my favorite food? They want to know what B.O.B I endorse!  You go ahead and make that road trip to AADSAV for the signing. It will be a pleasure to bitch slap you with a jelly Osaka for questions like that.

How dare you call me a whore.... wait you said book whore. Ok fair enough. You promised not to talk about my oral skills. Just for that I'm talking Dean AND Sam, they will enjoy those skills and not tell!

Since that series we're not talking about sucked the big one (for us) then get off your petunia and pick one that will rock my face off. 

Seriously, you guys are a bunch of fun whores that any blogger would consider themselves in hell to have you as friends. Keep up the author blocking, weird stalking and whining about not knowing how to organize your asses. Cuz this bitch loves every one of you and thanks you for being part of the 1st annual Roast of The Book Nympho. But since you all sucked at your jobs I'll be getting a different group of bloggers next year.

Giveaway is open to anywhere that The Book Depo ships to. 

a Rafflecopter giveaway

Don't forget there's still time to enter the other giveaways.


  1. (*sigh*) This is all true... at least the part about me. I am a talker. And I'm loud. And these things do get more pronounced the more I drink.

    As for the gay porn... you are so welcome! Rrrraw.

  2. I think jen and I would get a long. You don't not want to try to talk when I have been drinking. I am rambly by nature but wow there just is no filter once my inebriation's are removed :)

    Love ya girlie!

  3. Hmm, don't know if I could pick one. They were all fun to read and your responses as well!

    1. I had so much fun reading the posts as they came in. It was fun writing mine as well. There will definitely be a ROAST 2.0 next year!

  4. The Book Vixen was my fav! I totally agree with you! The more on the cover, the better for me. :)
    Rhonda D

  5. Mine wasn't good enough? YOU BITCH. :-)

    I freaking heart you and am so looking forward to AADSAV and spooning, or actually more likely, being spooned by you. I am your bitch afterall.

    And you will be happy to know I started NH book 4 last night.

    1. Oh NH 4. That one has some heartbreaking moments. Enjoy.

      It's're sleeping on the floor.

  6. Is it weird that now I have to get to know everyone now? How many of you hilariously dark bloggers are goin to AADSAV?

  7. LOL! Hilarious! Blumpkin & Hot Karl have left me equal parts fascinated and horrified. Thank you for that.

  8. OOH I even knew what a blumpkin was too. I feel part of the pervert club now. lol But the hot karl, no I did not know that. I have so much to learn.
    The roast was so much fun! And I promise not to wear your skin, who would be my book pimp then?

  9. LOL! Too funny.LOL
    I hope you guys have a great time at RT, and bring back lots of pictures.
    I'm glad you're enjoying smut through other sense :). I hope you're time at work is going by a little quicker.

  10. Oh, so we weren't good enough? What the FECK?! I'll give you Sam but you can pry Dean from my cold dead hands... Wish I could join you ladies at RT, I know you're going to have a blast! xoxo

  11. You whore...I mean Book Whore...I don't think anyone will hold back next year :-P I can't wait to see this Jelly Osaki. haha! And it will be fun to see who's the bigger bitch you or Laura...that will be interesting.

    1. Whoa whoa whoa ... Definitely Jennifer. I am pretty short

  12. Reading this I'm glad that I didn't have time to participate in your week long blogoversary celebration. :p At least I avoided being roasted in turn. That's a point for Carmel!

  13. What a hoot. Who could pick a favorite? Yes, please do this again next year.

  14. It's such a eye-opening post! High on the entertaining value. Happy blogoversary

  15. Talking About Oral Skills and Petunias! This one was sassy!!


    Raffle name: Nikki O

  16. this is so cute. it was an original and fun way of celebrating your blogoversary. I enjoyed every minute of it, even though I couldnt actually comment or enter the giveaways from my work computer where I originally read the posts, stupid computer.

  17. The Fever series is one of my favorite and I really enjoyed the Who's the Bigger Fever Fan :) Love Barrons!
    My raffle name: Fiery Na

  18. LMAO, I just saw this, it's been some kind of week for me. I AM THE BIGGER FEVER FAN AND WE WILL DUKE IT OUT AT RT JUST YOU WAIT, BEOTCH.


    (also, I see you are a dot com now and I love it. LOVE. IT.)

  19. Loved ALL of them but Book Nympho's one was my fave! :D

  20. It's a tie between Talking About Oral Skills and Petunias and Man Titties. What a GREAT event!

    Happy Easter and thanks for the amazing giveaway!
    elizabeth @ bookattict . com

  21. This was hilarious and such a creative way to celebrate! Congratulations, your blog looks amazing. I'm a new follower! :-)


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