Monday, March 18, 2013

ROAST: Jen Pulls NO Punches

red hot books

“Hi I’m Jennifer, from the Book Nympho. You know, Stomp vs Romp.” These were the words that plagued me throughout Authors After Dark. Yes, I know I have told this story on my own blog, but readers of The Book Nympho might have missed it.

Jennifer and I started blogging about the same time and sort of came up together on the blogosphere and social media. I’ve always enjoyed chatting with her on Twitter, generally about books, sex, or… ok, really just those two things… so I was excited to meet her at the conference last summer. We spent a lot of time together, drinking, laughing, and stalking authors. But every time I walked up to someone and introduced myself, she popped up like a fucking jack-in-the-box, stepping in front of me, talking about her damn feature. Nicole Peeler, Kelly Meding, Sylvia Day (though she denies that last one.) I couldn’t take her anywhere!

Then, like the fool that I am, I decided to room with her at RT!! I guess I am a glutton for punishment. She tells me that she and Carmel are going to do a Stomp vs Romp part two, just so she can torture me again. To this I say, Go ahead. I know where you’ll be sleeping those nights!!

Though I bitch and moan –and call her a whore when she steals my book boyfriends—I have really enjoyed getting to know Jennifer on Twitter. I know how much she has grown to love gay porn. (Who doesn’t?) I know she prefers her men to be without body hair. I know all the specs on her vibrator. (Don’t ask.) I know how often she gets lucky. And I know that when she tells you she is just about to read a book you know she’ll love and you’ve recommended to her for months, she is lying through her teeth.

But I also know she is a lot of fun. Despite my totally justified concerns that she will start another feature to plague me with, I am actually really excited about our trip in May. Together, we will wreak havoc on Kansas City and scandalize the sweet ladies who have yet to meet us in person. Jennifer, I’ll bring the booze… you bring the dirty movies! And when we finish spending the days being great big book nerds, we’re gonna find us some Big Dick Richie strippers and paint the town red. Whatever happens in KC, stays in KC! (Unless you piss me off and then I’ll totally blog about it.)

LOL. Seriously, congratulations on two great years of blogging! Now… have you started that second Cut & Run book yet?

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  1. Have at her! It makes for more fun for us readers to read

  2. LOL, I guess you asked for it ;) I can't wait to hear the stories when you two comeback from RT.

  3. LOL! That was pretty good. She probably wasn't as bad as she could have been. LOL...She didn't talk about penises too much so that's good. :-P Great post though.

  4. Hilarious. The Jens causin trouble. :-)

  5. This was a lot tamer then I was imagining. lol

    Can't wait to meet you both at RT!

  6. Hehehehe, gay porn! Have fun in KC, ladies. This is a great start to Jen's roast. Can't wait to see how the week goes :)

  7. Too funny! Looks like Jen might have some more material to use on a future roast after RT! :P

  8. hahaha, I think you made me a little nervous for RT. I think we may have to confiscate and hide phones so there is not photo evidence of possible escapades... anyhow, thanks for the laughs ladies! Book Savvy Babe

  9. Awesome giveaway!!! love the Roast.

  10. I'd say right back at her!

    Thanks for the amazing giveaway!
    elizabeth @ bookattict . com

  11. Eeee!!! I havent met you in real life Jennifer, but now I feel like I have to!


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